Today was a tough day.
A tough training session.
I’m in the process of saying goodbye to someone.. that person who thinks he is Less Than,.. who distrespects his own self.. that person that is a victim of abuses untol’d for decade upon decade..
You’d think that someone who just “dropped out” and went on a personal exploration meanderment for the better part of almost ten years would be above or beside the effects of abuses but.. in all honesty, the very reason I had to drop out.. the very reason I needed nearly ten years all to myself. Ultimately, it was time prepping and working to get closer to ME such that I could invite ANOTHER in to my life.
But.. that’s my headspace today. And difficult is as difficult does.. so, today- I turned it up a notch or.. two.
Normally, I’m happy to spin it out for 120 minutes with what ever movie I can find but today.. as I was doing my warm up.. I noticed I was pretty far down the cluster. A lot further than normal (well, one or two gears to be specific). I knew, also, that if I pushed it down another gear I’d be wanting to flip up to the big ring so…
I slipped up to the Big Ring!
So, up till now I’ve been content working on consistency.. spinning for 120 to 180 minutes at a stretch (it’s hard sequestering 180 mins.. so many different things to do and take care of…). I’d keep the gear lower, the resistance higher.. and just sit back and watch.. Shazam! or Deadpool.. or Star Trek or what ever.
But.. at heart I’m a Chunder King.. that means I push hard gears.
I’m not really a “spinner” but.. I am trying to learn how.
So.. today I pushed it down to a much harder gear.. same high resistance on the roller but a pretty tough or tougher gear. Legs were shaking when I got off the bike. Reminded me of that first time I strapped my bike on to a Vetta frame based wind trainer and span for what seemed hours (but the taxi company downstairs said it was 23 minutes due to the noise). Time.. fleeting..
Anyhow- training was good today. I feel like progress has been made.
